A Dirty Mind

interviewer: Hiroko Yamamoto

- What do you think of when you hear the word "kegare"? (kegare = impure, dirty, corrupted)

Ummm, I think of a movie called "Paradise". The one with Pheobe Kates...

- What kind of movie is it?

A boy and girl fight their way onto a deserted island and the movie is a story of their lives together, but they are still naieve. On top of that, while there their true nature is awakened, but there are no adults around and they don't understand the path to follow to their awakening so it gets rather complicated. Deciding to become adults is not kegare, but I think that girl was impure and I was irreversibly affected by it. I saw that movie when I was young.

- It must have been quite a shock.

Not really (laughs). A while ago they played it on television so I watched it again. I really hadn't been planning to though. Coincidence...

- So it was a movie of destiny, huh?

Well, because of that I've grown to like desert islands, like [names some places I'll look up later].

- During puberty* was there anything that made you worry that you were impure?

Nothing that I recall.

- For instance, when you discovered your true nature, or the first time you were interested in a woman?

Oh, this is one of those questions? (laughs) It is strictly prohibited for me to speak of such things...

- A ha ha. Well then, what kind of woman do you like? Women who are completely pure and devoid of impurity, or women who have a lot of experience?

Maybe a bit of both. Not allowing yourself to have any experience is pretty bad, isn't it? I think it's important for a woman to have a sense of danger.

- You mean "sexy"?

No. It's not that I'm saying a "sexy dynamite" type is good. (laughs) I want someone who skillfully portrays a sense of danger. That's not really a corporial matter.

- Aaa. You mean mysterious.

Right. Like a lolita -not that I have a lolita complex- it's more like a woman who has the otherworldly nature of a shoujo*, the sense of agelessness. In different types of experience there is a sense of remembered danger. Ordinarily it's no good if I'm not mysterious. I'd like to live among illusions. Therefore, I like people who perminantly see the dreams of a shoujo. Accepting your age is being supressed in accordance with the trends of society, and causes any real feelings of living to slowly ebb away. It's horrible when that happens. I want women to be above that!
* Pronounced "show-jo" It's hard to explain. It's usually translated as "young girl" or "young lady"...I guess it means innocence, sometimes boyishness, but with sex appeal at the same time. I go over that in my senior thesis *hint de gozaimasu*

- I would think that that kind of woman would want to show off her boyfriend. Would you want to be flaunted?

Me? Well...I suppose I wouldn't mind (laughs). I don't know if I'd be willing to risk my feelings on someone who might simply disappear one day.

- You said before that you don't like completely innocent women?

Yup. That sort of person has a "well, now what?" feel to them.

- Would you want men to have the same sort of personality?

Yup. It's good for men to be mysterious as well. Because I think that way it's hard for me to find common interests with others. I can't do typical things, like go bowling, drinking, or sing karaoke. I like the kind of people who'd be willing to play a board game with me. Board games are only two dimensional so you need to make up the story as you're playing; people who can do that are pretty nifty.

- fu~n. Like what kind of games?

One that shocked me was "Obakeyashiki Geemu" (The Haunted House). Other than that I would play occult-ish games like "Akurei-tou" (The Island of Evil Spirits) or "Akuma no Tokeidai" (The Demon's Clocktower).*
* speaking of board games, there's this one video-board game series called "Nightmare" that everyone I know loves, although most people haven't heard of it. Alright, so it looks a bit cheap, I'll admit it. But it is definitely worth checking out if you're interested and it might even have a small cult following by now.

- It sounds like you subconsciously don't want to become impure. Could it be that you don't want to grow up?

Since you've said it, I have a feeling I really don't want to grow up (laughs). I don't think it's possible for me to live in anything but a fantasy world...

- With human relationships too, would you say you have a hard time relating to others?

I can't. If it's something like getting along with people, I don't meet them much because I stay inside*.
* he actually refers to it as a sort of illness...

- In that way you seem like you're the one who's made that most clear in the band.

Well, maybe you can say I'm selfish in that respect but...well, I guess I am (laughs). But that must be the sort of way I've decided to live...

talks about curry and being a make believe prince)

...It's fun to play.

- Living that way, I wonder if you really might not be very kegare.

u~n...but there have been some things.

- Like?

The entertainment industry is kegare. So when I first started out with the band I was aiming for the top and...

-Everyone starts out with a pure dream, don't they.

Yeah. But truthfully it is a different feeling from standing in the middle of a wrestling ring. There are a lot of painful things. There are however many dirty things in a flashy world like that. But then I think it's the same way with any world. When I was by myself I only saw a dream, but I think that this kind of thing is very difficult to do. So I might have a mysterious image, but that is because there will always be people who will expose different things about my lifestyle. I want to avoid that from the beginning.

- The more you hide the more meaning there will be as a human? (Sorry...I couldn't translate this too well)

Won't there? I don't mean to hide anything, but I don't want to be the type of artist who has everything out in the open. That's very important to me.

Well to wrap it up in the vien of "Beast of Blood", do you think vampires are pure? The opposite?

Both. They have known and risen above the impurity and sadness of the world to live a cool existance. Vampires and monsters get treated as villains but they seem better than humans. They're mysterious, but they are also elegant and their insanity, and the goodness amidst their insanity...they have the air that they are burdened by perpetual sadness. I like that.


*fufufu* This really has nothing to do with anything. When I first showed my friend a picture of Mana and was like "dude, he's a man yo" her mother was there too. And her mom said something like " eeew, that is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen." I was very upset because Mana is not disgusting (it was the Mervielles CD jackt). But then I forgot. Anyway, one day her mom went up to her and said he was really beautiful. Then she just stood there for a bit looking awkward, and finally asked if I was really dating him. No one's quite sure where she got the idea. Now that she knows I'm not she likes him a bit more but I just can't help wondering why she thought that. No one's ever assumed I was dating AJ (yah, I decided to like the Backstreet Boys once) or Gackt, or anyone else who ever looked relatively normal. It's not a bad thing but still...maybe I'll run Dada by her next time


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