A Psychology Gentle on Love
asked, people will say, "My ideal man is a kind man who is handsome
and tall and smart, and rich and tolerant and will love only me,"
but when it comes down to it they go and end up marrying a man who
isn't handsome or tall or smart, and who, to make things worse, isn't
particularly rich and doesn't seem all that tolerant either. And when
they say everything, it comes across like this.
Is there a boy in existance who isn't kind to the girl he loves? No matter how incompetent a boy he is, he's naturally going to seem overflowing in kindness. Conversely speaking, an incompetent boy will have no skill other than using kindess as a weapon, a boy who's introduced with "kindness is his strong point," namely, that is nothing more than imcompetence. If it comes to the point where you have to make an excuse and say, "but he's really kind," then you'd really be better to declare your defeat and say bravely, "I've given up on my ideal, and chosen this guy with nothing to redeem himself but kindness. What a shame." The ugliness of a couple who gloss over their natural desires and together comprimise, nuzzling together as if they were at the same time trying to lick their wounds, is a serious crime to this world. And because of exactly that, nature is a wonderful thing. Volcanoes erupt and tsunami's rage. In reality there's an attractiveness in their maliciousness, they arrouse us with curiosity into submission. If you sink into a calm lake you will drown, and even a refreshing wind carries sickness. There's not even a fragment of kindess in them.
We may be spoken of as arrogant for it, but we have to have our ideal wedding with our ideal love. Feelings of love that know not of that ideal are nothing but sexual desire. "Kindness" rejects advancement and progress towards the future. "Kindness" connotes a conservative fear that tries to mantain the existing status quo. A love found with clashing swords, where together you don't let your gaurd down, will make love a sublimation of culture. Therefore, love becomes the thing of books, of music, and invites us to emotional reaction. You don't come to search for peace in love. This is a battle. Abandon that easy love you've started to be pressed into, and push on like a tank into the raging billows of a love that cannot be granted. You handsome and tall and smart prince, who is rich and tolerant and will love only you, and is also incidentially kind, is waiting in the deep forest for the day you will come to him.